| | I've been doing some soul-searching lately. I'm really not quite sure what I'm living for. Yeah, I have a lot of things going for me. I work for Google. I have a place. I have a lot of acquaintances through many activities. I keep busy with those activities, but I have the freedom to hide out and spend my free time by myself as well. I seem to have developed the ability to deal with the things life throws at me, and I've found I really don't need much to survive.
But if you ask me if I'm really happy, I'm not sure how to respond to that. I enjoy wushu, when I actually make practice. Softball has been fun. Tennis is fun. Running is a challenge. I can make a difference doing something interesting at work, and I don't even have to feed myself. Musical theater is great fun, and a great outlet for me. But in the heart of my heart, I really don't know where I'm going. Sometimes, I think I just fill up my days and weeks with activities just so I won't have to think about it.
Today, I hit a home run! I took some batting practice before the game, making small adjustments depending on the result. During the game, I came up with the bases-loaded. I knew the pitcher was having trouble locating the zone, so I was waiting for a perfect pitch. Two pitches missed. I relaxed, didn't try to over-swing, and let it fly. The result was astounding. Opposite field shot, directly between Right and Right-Center. I saw it pass the outfielders as I rounded first, and I knew I at least had third. The third-base coach wavered a moment, but then sent me home, and I beat it out for a grand slam! Also, it was my first extra-base hit, and my first hit to the right side. Sadly, we still lost the game by one run.
Perhaps I need to approach life more like I did that game. Experience life, and learn from it. Develop some confidence in my ability to live it. When an opportunity presents itself, relax, don't try to overdo it, and just do what you know how to do. No need to over think it, because that really doesn't help. Things may or may not turn out how you would like them to all the time, but you learn in the trying. The goals and opportunities are less clear in life than in softball. Perhaps I can start by applying this to interpersonal relationships, and go from there. =) |
| | Posted 11/11/2008 4:32 AM - 104 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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