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| You know, the day didn't start out that well. I woke up at 7 AM after about 3.5 hrs of sleep, snoozed once, took a quick shower, and packed up some last minute stuff before hitching a ride to the airport. In the car, I felt like I was starving and my body felt like I was hit by a train. Brain was completely non-functional. And when I got to the airport, it didn't help that I found out that I forgot to take the Swiss Army knife off of my keychain. Stupid!
Well, one thing I had going my way was time. I got dropped off at the airport at 8:30, but my flight was at 11. So it really wasn't a huge deal to leave the security checkpoint, go back down to check in my bag, come back up and share a smile with the security people who remembered me from 10 min ago, and go through again.
From there, things got better. I explored the renovations to SJC and ate a sandwich. I plugged in my laptop and checked email/Fb apps. Later, I found out the gate for our flight was moved, and the flight ended up being delayed 20 min. But it was fine. I was in no rush. Somehow having time to spare keeps me relaxed and in a good mood.
The real highlight of my day was the 1.5 hr bus ride (with two transfers) from the airport to my parents' house. Along the way, I saw more diversity than I usually see (ethnic, gender, age range, class, culture). I saw a bus driver help a grandpa in a wheelchair on. I saw a cute granddaughter with the biggest, most beautiful eyes sit quietly and obediently on the bus. I loaned my cell phone to a guy with a fishing rod who said he lost his cell phone. I saw a bus driver wake up a sleeping passenger by name and let her know that her stop had past.
I think riding at that bus gave me a lot of hope in human kindness and reminded me that there is so much more to life than just work, theater, and sleep.
Also, Ponyo is a surprisingly cute and metaphorical movie. Then again, I've been in some special mood all day. Not that I'm complaining. =)
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| Lent is coming up once again. Thinking back to last year's Lenten goals, I don't think much has changed. I still want to get into work at a decent time, and I really need to develop some discipline about getting to sleep on time. I still need to play less games and spend less time on the computer... and invest that time into real-life interactions instead.
One thing new though: I want to teach myself some jazz piano. It's actually not that hard if you know your music theory. And it sounds really cool. =)
Hmm... maybe I need to set some goals for running as well. 9 min mile pace for my next 5K? That'll probably be the LiveRight 5K in May. Oh yeah, and I need to put together a rope dart set for the wushu demo afterwards.
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| I've been doing some soul-searching lately. I'm really not quite sure what I'm living for. Yeah, I have a lot of things going for me. I work for Google. I have a place. I have a lot of acquaintances through many activities. I keep busy with those activities, but I have the freedom to hide out and spend my free time by myself as well. I seem to have developed the ability to deal with the things life throws at me, and I've found I really don't need much to survive.
But if you ask me if I'm really happy, I'm not sure how to respond to that. I enjoy wushu, when I actually make practice. Softball has been fun. Tennis is fun. Running is a challenge. I can make a difference doing something interesting at work, and I don't even have to feed myself. Musical theater is great fun, and a great outlet for me. But in the heart of my heart, I really don't know where I'm going. Sometimes, I think I just fill up my days and weeks with activities just so I won't have to think about it.
Today, I hit a home run! I took some batting practice before the game, making small adjustments depending on the result. During the game, I came up with the bases-loaded. I knew the pitcher was having trouble locating the zone, so I was waiting for a perfect pitch. Two pitches missed. I relaxed, didn't try to over-swing, and let it fly. The result was astounding. Opposite field shot, directly between Right and Right-Center. I saw it pass the outfielders as I rounded first, and I knew I at least had third. The third-base coach wavered a moment, but then sent me home, and I beat it out for a grand slam! Also, it was my first extra-base hit, and my first hit to the right side. Sadly, we still lost the game by one run.
Perhaps I need to approach life more like I did that game. Experience life, and learn from it. Develop some confidence in my ability to live it. When an opportunity presents itself, relax, don't try to overdo it, and just do what you know how to do. No need to over think it, because that really doesn't help. Things may or may not turn out how you would like them to all the time, but you learn in the trying. The goals and opportunities are less clear in life than in softball. Perhaps I can start by applying this to interpersonal relationships, and go from there. =) | | |
| Ran a 10K and felt good.
1:02:43 = 10:05 min mile pace.
Significantly better than my first 10K, but still a lot of room for improvement.
Contemplating a half-marathon, but man... they're really expensive. | | |
| With the closing of Pirates this past Sunday, I conclude a busy, but fun part of my life. And from this end, I proceed to engage reality once more.
You might think that it should be easy to go from being really busy back to a regular routine. But these past few days, I've been finding it increasingly difficult to settle back into real life. I find myself dislike having time on my hands... because my brain starts thinking and worrying about all sorts of stuff that it didn't have time for when I was running from work to rehearsals to shows, etc...
I suppose it's another transition, and I will adapt. I do certainly miss the controlled fantasy environments that theater creates. Although there is emotion, conflict, and strife on stage, you leave it on the stage. And I think my attraction to video games is because of a similar reason. I don't think these are bad, per se. Controlled environments give you a chance to explore and experiment without permanent impact. I just need to be wary of shunning real life for that which is not real.
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